There are few things in life that make your blood turn cold. The fear that overwhelms you, and challenges the life as you know it. Today I had that fear. My world stopped. My heart quit. I felt like I might just collapse and I didn’t know how to fix it. A minute felt like a day. The fear was more than I could deal with.

This morning I shooed the kids out the door to school to catch the bus. I was in my sweats with my hair sticking up and in a nice fro. The thought crossed my mind to make sure they got on okay. But I looked at the driveway and knew that things would be okay. Mistake number one. I watched out the window for the bus and saw it go and knew that my kids were off to school. I guess I wasn’t paying attention to the promptings of the Spirit. I wish I would have. Hindsight is always 20/20. I wish I listened to the promptings more often. It would have spared my the fear I had this morning.

I decided I should get ready for the day. But first I needed to see if I had any good emails. I didn’t. But the sliding glass door opened, and there stood my son. Looking at me with his backpack on. He walked in and announced he missed the bus. Awesome. I asked him what he did, and he replied he hid behind the tree and missed the bus, he wanted to be a car rider. Really kid? You couldn’t just tell me that, you had to miss the bus? He was sure he could play and have fun. And I told him there was no fun to be had, it was time to sit on a chair while I showered and got myself ready to get him to school. I thought about telling my parents he was here. But I didn’t. I ignored that too. Mistake #2.

I showered quickly and got dressed, I didn’t want to be a grungy Mom this morning. I was ready and then I peeked out to look at him, and didn’t see him. I figured he had went upstairs to hang out with my parents and sister. But I wasn’t sure, but I assumed. Mistake #3. I finished getting ready and then went upstairs realizing we had about two minutes to leave and asked my parents where he was. They looked puzzled and said they hadn’t seen him at all. But they had heard a door shut. I think then might have been when my blood started to run cold. I ran through their 4,000 square foot home calling home, hoping he would pop his head out. But he didn’t. I ran outside around their big yard. I screamed his name. I said a silent prayer that he would pop out his head. But I knew he wasn’t here. I knew it.

I jumped in my van and drove around but panic was hitting. Fear was overwhelming and it was hard to breathe. My son was gone. I don’t know that there is anything worse than that feeling of not knowing where your child is. I screamed his name. I cried in fear and I fell apart. I wish I could say I was calm under pressure, but my baby boy was missing and I had no idea where he might be. I called Randy, he dropped everything and came. After realizing it has been over thirty minutes I called the police. An officer showed up quickly and searched the house, I was right he was gone. They searched the yard. He was gone. They asked about school, I explained that school was over 4 miles away. He would have to walk on two VERY BUSY roads to get to school. I was sure he hadn’t walked to school. The very thought terrified me for many reasons.

The police officer at the house was wonderful. He was kind and helpful and reassuring. He was sure we would find him. I was grateful for how calm he was. And the peace he brought. I knew we would find him, but I had no idea how long this was going to take.

The officer received a message from another officer. My son was at school. He was in class and safe. My heart skipped a beat. He was safe. He had went outside and caught the bus when it passed the house again. We went out to the school and hugged him and I cried some more. The police officers told him that they had eight patrols looking for him, and how he always needs to tell someone what he is doing. But he was safe. He wasn’t harmed at all. I am grateful. My thoughts immediately turned to my lack of listening to the promptings this morning. I should have listened and not dismissed them. I should have been more aware. And next time I will be.